The morning news stated
some local fishermen
fished out six of Christ’s fishermen
from the sea.
Saint Peter looked more sleepy than dead.
His hair was drawn back
and secured with a red rubber band
into a ponytail.
Simon (who was called Peter)
was identified by the tattoo Cephas on his arm.
Of the seven fisherman, Nathaniel, was missing
and presumed the murderer.
We confirmed Mathew the tax collector
worked for the Internal Revenue Service
and happily lived in the residential tower
above Balston Station on the metro’s orange line.
When I think of God in flowing white hair—
venerable yet cranky from constipation—
with his old testament thundering reputation
I figure he ordered the hit.
copyright © 2022 Kenneth P. Gurney
Umflop 