Always a Bridesmaid

Bad things happen in Lori’s conversations
but not in her real life.

She names all bad things that do take place Brad
after a once upon a time boyfriend failure.

It is in the context of calling certain people Karen
when most Karens are decent folks.

Lori encounters Brad on social media most often
thus does not fear she will draw her handgun.

Her handgun at the bottom of her purse
may as well be at the bottom of the ocean.

Her handgun does not have a name.
It feels Lori’s grip only after mass shooting reports.

Because mass shootings are defined as four or more victims
Lori decides, if she ever has to shoot, it will be no more than three.

Some days Lori thinks a bad thing is finding bullets in her makeup kit
instead of the proper shade of lipstick.

Other days she thinks a bad thing is the angry planet-killing brother
of the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs.

This fluctuating definition of a bad thing
makes her love life bewildering.

Men she dates have to learn they are ocean yachts
that cannot turn fast enough to face rogue waves.

copyright © 2023 Kenneth P. Gurney

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